Update-232
.
"ab main samajh gaya ki tu aise mara hua kyun yaha aaya...lekin ghar se kyun bhaga..."jamhayi marte hue Varun ne puchha....
"uski vazah Pandey ji ki beti thi..."
"kaun ,teri hone wali bhabhi..."
"nahi be...wo to bahut badhiya hai ,lekin uski chhoti bahan. ek din jab uske gharwale aur mere gharwale ek sath baithe the ,tab Pandey ji ki chhutki laundiya ne mere college ke bare me puchhna shuru kar diya....phhir results ki baat chhed di ,tab bade bhaiya uski side lekar meri izzat utarne lage....bahut der tak to main sahta raha aur jab saha nahi gaya to aise kadwe vachan bole ki waha baithe sabhi logo ki ulti saans chalne lagi...jiske thode der baad Pandey ji ki laundiya rone lagi aur bade bhaiya ne ghumakar ek thappad mere gaal par rakh diya...."
"to isme vanvaas grahan karne wali kaun si baat thi be... "
"aage to sun....mera gaal par ek thappad chipkane ke baad unhone kaha ki'rahna hai to jaise sab rahte hai,waise rah...nahi to ghar chhod de'...bas phhir kya tha, waha se uthkar maine apna bag bhara aur yaha bhag aaya...."
"hmm....to kahani khatm ,hai na...kahne ka matlab hai ki ab main sab kuchh jaan chuka hoon ,right..."
"wrong, picture abhi baki hai mere dost...."
"ab kahe ki picture baki hai be...jab samne the end likha gaya to..."
"kya tune kabhi Esha ke ajeeb-o-gareeb behaviour par dhyan diya ki kaise achanak uska mood badal jata tha ,yaad kar jab fifth Semester me hum log 3 dino ke camp ke liye gaye the...."
"wo camp....kaise bhool sakta hoon main us camp ko aur Angelina darling ko....uski photo rakha hai kya.."
"mere khayal se main shayad Esha ki baat kar raha tha, Angelina ki nahi...."
"oh..haan...bol"
"yaad kar camp me meri Esha aur Divya se kaise bhayanak ladayi hui thi aur phhir jab main Esha ke liye khana pahuchane gaya tha to usne kaise bade pyar se khana le liya tha....iske baad jab golden jubilee ke function ke liye anchoring ka audition chal raha tha tab kaise Esha aur meri auditorium ke bahar ghamasan jung hui thi ,lekin us ghamasan jung ke agle din hee wo aise bartaav karne lagi jaise wo ghamasan jung kabhi hui hee na ho...."
"tu dimag mat kha aur bol ki kahna kya chahta hai.... "
"main kahna ye chahta hoon ki Esha ko ek bimari hai..Amnesia ,jiske karan uski memory bahut weak hai aur wo aksar samne khade vyakti ko dekhkar past me uske aur us vyakti ke sath kya hua tha ,wo bhool jati hai...mujhe iski khabar tab lagi,jab main College se final exam dekar ghar wapas aa gaya tha.unhi dino Megha ne call karke mujhe Esha ke bare me bataya tha .jiske anusar First year me Esha ki Suicide karne ki koshish ne uske brain structure ke limbic system ki dhajjiya uda di thi aur wahi se uski memory weak hone lagi....Esha ke brain structure ki jab se dhajjiya udi thi, tab se wo kayi chize bhoolni lagi thi aur Megha ka kahna tha ki kabhi-kabhi to wo ye bhi bhool jati thi ki usne kabhi suicide karne ki koshish bhi ki thi....wo kayi bar Divya ko nahi pahchan pati thi aur use class me sabke samne ignore karti thi ,jiske karan Divya aur Esha ke beech darar padne lagi....kayi baar class me jab koyi teacher Esha ko khada kart to wo apna name tak bhool jati thi....
Megha ke is jaanlewa khulase ne mujhe bhi Esha ki kayi harqate yaad dila di ,jisne Amnesia par apni muhar laga di thi...jaise ki kabhi-kabhi main Esha ko hi karta to mujhe bilkul andekha kar deti...jise main uska ghamand samajh leta tha .Esha aksar monday ko saturday bana deti thi ,lekin tab main use uska mazak samajhta tha.....achchhe se kahu to Esha ko sirf wahi chize yaad rahti thi , jo uske aas-paas ho...jaise uska college ,uske current friends ya phhir main ....Mujhe yaad hai ki ek baar maine Esha se uske school ke bare me puchha tha ,tab usne kaha tha ki 'use yaad nahi hai ki wo kis school se pass out hui hai ' aur maine ise bhi halke me le liya....sari chize, sari ghatnaye mere samne ghati ,par maine kabhi dhyan nahi diya aur yadi Esha pahle ke tarah hee rahi to kuchh dino baad shayad wo apne college, apne college friends aur mujhe bhi bhool jayegi...wo bhool jayegi ki uski zindagi me kabhi main bhi tha...phhir wo mujhe pahchanegi tak nahi....billi kahi ki...pata nahi mere khilaf usne itna bada plan kaise bana liya.iski shayad ek hee vazah ho sakti hai ki shuruat me amnesia ka jyada effect us par na hua ho.....now story over ! "
"thik hai ,to phhir chal sote hai..."
"chal sale gay..."
"tu sudhrega nahi..."
"sudharna hee hota to bigadta hee kyun..."
"achchha ye bata tere baki dosto ka kya hua...jaise Saurabh ,Rajshri Pandey ,Sulabh ,Divya vagerah-vagerah...."
"jaha tak mera andaza hai...jo ki hamesha sach hee hota hai ,uske anusar Saurabh UPSC ki taiyari me laga hoga...Sulabh aur Megha ab shayad ek shahar me nahi honge,par ek dusare ke touch me zaroor honge...Divya jaise jhatu ke bare me main sochta nahi aur Rajshri Pandey ,mere nakshe kadam par chalte hue College par raaz kar raha hoga...."
"thik hee hai story, utni buri bhi nahi....good night and sweet dreams."
"badnight and baddreams..."
.
Varun ke ludhakne ke baad main khada hua, apne dono hath upar kiya aur ek mast angdayi with jamhayi lete hue samne padi magzine ko uthaya...jisme deepika mam solid poze diye hue the....
"kya yar...subah 5 baje mutth marne ka man kar raha hai
,main ek yugpurush hoon, mujhe in sab par control karna chahiye...."bolte hue maine magzine door feki aur mobile lekar bahar balcony me aa gaya.....
.
Main hamesha se hee galat tha ,jo zindagi ko Power aur Paise ke taraju par taula karta tha...jabki sach to ye tha ki zindagi jeene ke liye na to behisab power ki zaroorat hoti hai aur na hee beshumar paise ki....zindagi jeene ke liye yadi kisi chiz ki zaroorat hoti hai to sirf aisi zindagi ki...jise hum jee sake...jisme chhote-bade utar-chadhav ho par ant me sab kuchh thik ho jaye....
Esha shayad apni bimari ke chalte mujhe bhool jaye ,par mujhe yakin hai ki wo jab bhi college ke photos me mujhe dekhegi to ek pal ke liye,ek second ke liye uske dil ki ghanti zaroor bajegi....aur yadi wo ghanti nahi bhi bajti to koyi baat nahi...
8th Semester ke baad maine finally apne dimag par kabu pa liya tha ,matlab ki ab main wahi kuchh sochta hoon,jo main sochna chahta hoon...ab na to mujhe Atindra ka bhoot sapne me dikhta hai aur na hee Aradhna....par ye dono mere sath tab tak jude rahenge ,jab tak main is duniya se juda rahunga....
.
"jaldi bol,call kyun kiya...."itne der se main jis chiz ka intezaar kar raha tha ,finally wo ho hee gaya...call Nisha ki thi aur call recieve karte hee rude hote hue main bola"tera hone wala husband kaha hai..."
"Tum to jante hee ho ki ,i love you yar, phhir bhi..."
"ladkiyo ke i love you se mujhe dar lagta hai...kyunki ek ke i love you ne andar tak hila kar rakh diya tha....tu bol ,call kyun kiya..."
"sex karne ka bahut man kar raha hai..."
"to aaja phhir...main kaun sa mana kar raha hoon..."
"mujhe asal me sex nahi karna ,bas tumhe batane ka dil kar raha tha..."
"aur kuchh bhi batana hai to jaldi bata do...aankhe band ho rahi hai meri..."
"aur kuchh to nahi par main ye soch rahi thi ki tumhe dar nahi lagta kya...jo dad ko jante hue bhi mujhse ishq lada rahe hai..."
"dar-var apne khoon me nahi hai...."
"aise kaise ho sakta hai...jiska janm hua hai aur jo ek din marega ,un sabko kisi na kisi chiz se dar lagta hai..."
"mera janm nahi hua hai ,mera avatar hua hai...."
"chal jhoothe..."
.
Isi ke sath hum dono 'dar' topic par ek dusare se ladayi karne lage....
mera aage kya hoga..iski mujhe jyada parvaah nahi thi,kyunki mujhe maloom hai ki mere sath jitna bura hona tha wo to ho chuka hai, ab usase jyada bura nahi ho sakta aur yadi hua bhi to main hone nahe dunga....filhal to apni gadi Nisha bharose chal rahi thi aur itne achchhe-bure anubhavo se maine ek chiz jo seekhi thi wo ye ki 'Love is not lovable' kyunki Love me matlab iska nahi rahta ki aap apni zindagi kaise jeete ho,balki matlab iska rahta hai ki aap apne sapno ko kaise jeete ho....
"Myself Arman aur ye the mere zindagi ke kuchh Arman ,jinme se kuchh pure hue to kuchh pure hone baki hai aur ek baat ,kisi shayar ne hundred percent sach hee kaha hai ki 'Aashiq bankar apni zindagi barbaad mat karna..'
--T H E ~ E N D--
.
"ab main samajh gaya ki tu aise mara hua kyun yaha aaya...lekin ghar se kyun bhaga..."jamhayi marte hue Varun ne puchha....
"uski vazah Pandey ji ki beti thi..."
"kaun ,teri hone wali bhabhi..."
"nahi be...wo to bahut badhiya hai ,lekin uski chhoti bahan. ek din jab uske gharwale aur mere gharwale ek sath baithe the ,tab Pandey ji ki chhutki laundiya ne mere college ke bare me puchhna shuru kar diya....phhir results ki baat chhed di ,tab bade bhaiya uski side lekar meri izzat utarne lage....bahut der tak to main sahta raha aur jab saha nahi gaya to aise kadwe vachan bole ki waha baithe sabhi logo ki ulti saans chalne lagi...jiske thode der baad Pandey ji ki laundiya rone lagi aur bade bhaiya ne ghumakar ek thappad mere gaal par rakh diya...."
"to isme vanvaas grahan karne wali kaun si baat thi be... "
"aage to sun....mera gaal par ek thappad chipkane ke baad unhone kaha ki'rahna hai to jaise sab rahte hai,waise rah...nahi to ghar chhod de'...bas phhir kya tha, waha se uthkar maine apna bag bhara aur yaha bhag aaya...."
"hmm....to kahani khatm ,hai na...kahne ka matlab hai ki ab main sab kuchh jaan chuka hoon ,right..."
"wrong, picture abhi baki hai mere dost...."
"ab kahe ki picture baki hai be...jab samne the end likha gaya to..."
"kya tune kabhi Esha ke ajeeb-o-gareeb behaviour par dhyan diya ki kaise achanak uska mood badal jata tha ,yaad kar jab fifth Semester me hum log 3 dino ke camp ke liye gaye the...."
"wo camp....kaise bhool sakta hoon main us camp ko aur Angelina darling ko....uski photo rakha hai kya.."
"mere khayal se main shayad Esha ki baat kar raha tha, Angelina ki nahi...."
"oh..haan...bol"
"yaad kar camp me meri Esha aur Divya se kaise bhayanak ladayi hui thi aur phhir jab main Esha ke liye khana pahuchane gaya tha to usne kaise bade pyar se khana le liya tha....iske baad jab golden jubilee ke function ke liye anchoring ka audition chal raha tha tab kaise Esha aur meri auditorium ke bahar ghamasan jung hui thi ,lekin us ghamasan jung ke agle din hee wo aise bartaav karne lagi jaise wo ghamasan jung kabhi hui hee na ho...."
"tu dimag mat kha aur bol ki kahna kya chahta hai.... "
"main kahna ye chahta hoon ki Esha ko ek bimari hai..Amnesia ,jiske karan uski memory bahut weak hai aur wo aksar samne khade vyakti ko dekhkar past me uske aur us vyakti ke sath kya hua tha ,wo bhool jati hai...mujhe iski khabar tab lagi,jab main College se final exam dekar ghar wapas aa gaya tha.unhi dino Megha ne call karke mujhe Esha ke bare me bataya tha .jiske anusar First year me Esha ki Suicide karne ki koshish ne uske brain structure ke limbic system ki dhajjiya uda di thi aur wahi se uski memory weak hone lagi....Esha ke brain structure ki jab se dhajjiya udi thi, tab se wo kayi chize bhoolni lagi thi aur Megha ka kahna tha ki kabhi-kabhi to wo ye bhi bhool jati thi ki usne kabhi suicide karne ki koshish bhi ki thi....wo kayi bar Divya ko nahi pahchan pati thi aur use class me sabke samne ignore karti thi ,jiske karan Divya aur Esha ke beech darar padne lagi....kayi baar class me jab koyi teacher Esha ko khada kart to wo apna name tak bhool jati thi....
Megha ke is jaanlewa khulase ne mujhe bhi Esha ki kayi harqate yaad dila di ,jisne Amnesia par apni muhar laga di thi...jaise ki kabhi-kabhi main Esha ko hi karta to mujhe bilkul andekha kar deti...jise main uska ghamand samajh leta tha .Esha aksar monday ko saturday bana deti thi ,lekin tab main use uska mazak samajhta tha.....achchhe se kahu to Esha ko sirf wahi chize yaad rahti thi , jo uske aas-paas ho...jaise uska college ,uske current friends ya phhir main ....Mujhe yaad hai ki ek baar maine Esha se uske school ke bare me puchha tha ,tab usne kaha tha ki 'use yaad nahi hai ki wo kis school se pass out hui hai ' aur maine ise bhi halke me le liya....sari chize, sari ghatnaye mere samne ghati ,par maine kabhi dhyan nahi diya aur yadi Esha pahle ke tarah hee rahi to kuchh dino baad shayad wo apne college, apne college friends aur mujhe bhi bhool jayegi...wo bhool jayegi ki uski zindagi me kabhi main bhi tha...phhir wo mujhe pahchanegi tak nahi....billi kahi ki...pata nahi mere khilaf usne itna bada plan kaise bana liya.iski shayad ek hee vazah ho sakti hai ki shuruat me amnesia ka jyada effect us par na hua ho.....now story over ! "
"thik hai ,to phhir chal sote hai..."
"chal sale gay..."
"tu sudhrega nahi..."
"sudharna hee hota to bigadta hee kyun..."
"achchha ye bata tere baki dosto ka kya hua...jaise Saurabh ,Rajshri Pandey ,Sulabh ,Divya vagerah-vagerah...."
"jaha tak mera andaza hai...jo ki hamesha sach hee hota hai ,uske anusar Saurabh UPSC ki taiyari me laga hoga...Sulabh aur Megha ab shayad ek shahar me nahi honge,par ek dusare ke touch me zaroor honge...Divya jaise jhatu ke bare me main sochta nahi aur Rajshri Pandey ,mere nakshe kadam par chalte hue College par raaz kar raha hoga...."
"thik hee hai story, utni buri bhi nahi....good night and sweet dreams."
"badnight and baddreams..."
.
Varun ke ludhakne ke baad main khada hua, apne dono hath upar kiya aur ek mast angdayi with jamhayi lete hue samne padi magzine ko uthaya...jisme deepika mam solid poze diye hue the....
"kya yar...subah 5 baje mutth marne ka man kar raha hai
,main ek yugpurush hoon, mujhe in sab par control karna chahiye...."bolte hue maine magzine door feki aur mobile lekar bahar balcony me aa gaya.....
.
Main hamesha se hee galat tha ,jo zindagi ko Power aur Paise ke taraju par taula karta tha...jabki sach to ye tha ki zindagi jeene ke liye na to behisab power ki zaroorat hoti hai aur na hee beshumar paise ki....zindagi jeene ke liye yadi kisi chiz ki zaroorat hoti hai to sirf aisi zindagi ki...jise hum jee sake...jisme chhote-bade utar-chadhav ho par ant me sab kuchh thik ho jaye....
Esha shayad apni bimari ke chalte mujhe bhool jaye ,par mujhe yakin hai ki wo jab bhi college ke photos me mujhe dekhegi to ek pal ke liye,ek second ke liye uske dil ki ghanti zaroor bajegi....aur yadi wo ghanti nahi bhi bajti to koyi baat nahi...
8th Semester ke baad maine finally apne dimag par kabu pa liya tha ,matlab ki ab main wahi kuchh sochta hoon,jo main sochna chahta hoon...ab na to mujhe Atindra ka bhoot sapne me dikhta hai aur na hee Aradhna....par ye dono mere sath tab tak jude rahenge ,jab tak main is duniya se juda rahunga....
.
"jaldi bol,call kyun kiya...."itne der se main jis chiz ka intezaar kar raha tha ,finally wo ho hee gaya...call Nisha ki thi aur call recieve karte hee rude hote hue main bola"tera hone wala husband kaha hai..."
"Tum to jante hee ho ki ,i love you yar, phhir bhi..."
"ladkiyo ke i love you se mujhe dar lagta hai...kyunki ek ke i love you ne andar tak hila kar rakh diya tha....tu bol ,call kyun kiya..."
"sex karne ka bahut man kar raha hai..."
"to aaja phhir...main kaun sa mana kar raha hoon..."
"mujhe asal me sex nahi karna ,bas tumhe batane ka dil kar raha tha..."
"aur kuchh bhi batana hai to jaldi bata do...aankhe band ho rahi hai meri..."
"aur kuchh to nahi par main ye soch rahi thi ki tumhe dar nahi lagta kya...jo dad ko jante hue bhi mujhse ishq lada rahe hai..."
"dar-var apne khoon me nahi hai...."
"aise kaise ho sakta hai...jiska janm hua hai aur jo ek din marega ,un sabko kisi na kisi chiz se dar lagta hai..."
"mera janm nahi hua hai ,mera avatar hua hai...."
"chal jhoothe..."
.
Isi ke sath hum dono 'dar' topic par ek dusare se ladayi karne lage....
mera aage kya hoga..iski mujhe jyada parvaah nahi thi,kyunki mujhe maloom hai ki mere sath jitna bura hona tha wo to ho chuka hai, ab usase jyada bura nahi ho sakta aur yadi hua bhi to main hone nahe dunga....filhal to apni gadi Nisha bharose chal rahi thi aur itne achchhe-bure anubhavo se maine ek chiz jo seekhi thi wo ye ki 'Love is not lovable' kyunki Love me matlab iska nahi rahta ki aap apni zindagi kaise jeete ho,balki matlab iska rahta hai ki aap apne sapno ko kaise jeete ho....
"Myself Arman aur ye the mere zindagi ke kuchh Arman ,jinme se kuchh pure hue to kuchh pure hone baki hai aur ek baat ,kisi shayar ne hundred percent sach hee kaha hai ki 'Aashiq bankar apni zindagi barbaad mat karna..'
--T H E ~ E N D--
