Update - 120
Baarish vakai kaffi tezz thi itni tez ki gaddi ke samne dekh pana lagabhag namumkin tha aisa lag raha tha jaise delhi mei badal fat gaya ho. Sangeeta gaddi bahut slow chala rahi thi yahi agar mujhe vo do saal pehle bulai hoti to mei kabhi uske nahi baitha because we all know
" ladkiyun se drive nahi hoti aur itni baarish mein to bilkul bhi nahi yahi soch raha ho na tum " sangeeta ki baat sun kar mei chaunk pada. Vo meri soch ko itni sateek kaise pakad sakti thi is baat ka mujhe andaza tak nahi tha. " yahi soch rahe the na? "
" han.. i mean no " mei kya kehta koi aur ladki hoti to kehta lekin apne office ki itni head team ki mam ko to nahi bol sakta tha.
" i can understand, ladies are careless drivers "
" no mens are careless girls actually doesn't know how to drive " shit, shit, flow mein nikal gaya. Mei nahi kehna chahta tha aur mujhe matlab hi kya tha, kai baar jada bolna nahi chahie, jitna pata hai utna sach to kabhi nahi. Mujhe laga ki vo mujhe ab lecture degi lekin vo hans padi.
" tumhe ladkiyun se problem hai? "
" nahi mam, mujhe kya hi problem, infact meri gf bhi to ek ladki hi hai " mene mahol badalne ke liye mazak kiya aur baad mein dhayan diya ki mei ise kyun mazak kar raha hun. Meri baat sun kar ek pal gaddi mein chalte wiper ki awaz ayi aur phir sangeeta ke hasne ki.
" funny " usne itna hi kaha aur gaddi chalane mein dhayan laga diya. Akansha ka message ka mene reply diya " on the way home " lekin kab tak ye nahi pata tha kyun ki
" bahut traffic hai, mam aap bekar mei mere liye ulta jaoge, apko aur late hoga, i will manage from somewhere aap mujhe kisi point pr hi drop kar dena " mene khidki se bahar dekha, jispar oas jam hui thi baarish ke karan. Pani itna bhar gaya tha sadkon par ki two wheeler ke to tyre nahi dikh rahe the.
" hmm " sangeta ne koi na nukur nahi ki. Ab mene bol to diya tha ki mei chala jaunga par jaunga kaise? Koi nahi dekha jayega, bas tension hai mobile aur laptop ki jiska mere pas ek idea aya. Mere pas ek choti plastic ki carry bag rehti hi hai bag mein jisme phone to daal dunga par laptop uska thoda panga hai. Ek kaam karta hu vo madam se requst karke unke pass chhod dunga aur kal le lunga ye better hai. Aur rahi baat bhigne ki to maza ayega.. Achanak mujhe thand jada lagne lagi kyun ki car ka AC full speed mei chal raha tha.
" mam, mei ac band kar du, vo thand lag rahi hai " sangeeta ne ek pal meri taraf dekha, to vakai mera sharir kanp raha tha, kapde halke gile bhi the. Gaddi ruki hui thi varna agar vo itni der tak meri aur dekhti to thuk gaye hote.
" yeah sure " usne khud hi band kar diya lekin thodi der baad gaddi ke sishe par oas jamne lagi. Yahi dikat hai baarish ke time, ac chalao to thand warna oas ab drive karne mei aur dikkat. Kareeb kuch hi minute baad mene ac on kiya aur mostly hawa bahar ki taraf kar di par phir bhi mujhe thandi hawa lag rahi thi. Sangeeta badi chup thi, mei shant tha par dimag mei bar bar ek hi baat aa rahi thi ki kahin vo mujhse us raat ki baat na kar de. Jabse aya tha gaddi mein bas isliye kuch bhi bol raha tha taki vo baat na ho sake, hum aksar bachpan mein kiya karte the jab bhi koi galti hoti thi aur maa papa mein se ek ko pata hota tha aur vo dusre ko batane wali ho aisa soch kar hi baat ghumaya karte the taki vo baat hi na ho.
" mam " mei use laptop rakhne ki baat karne wala tha par usne mujhe bich mein rok diya.
" ankit tum mujhe us raat " bas vo itna hi boli ki mera dil dhadakne laga jis chiz ko mei avoid karna cha raha tha. Vo shant hi isliye thi itni der se ki mujhse phir us raat ki baat kar di.
" mam, dekhiye us raat jo bhi hua vo mei bhulna chahta hun, aap nahi samajh sakti ki mere andar us chiz ka guilt aaj bhi hai. Mei yahan job karne aya kyun ki akansha meri progress dekhna chahti thi varna " mei ruka aur vo mauka le gayi.
" varna tum nahi ana chahte the, really ? " ek choti muskan se usne meri taraf dekha. Mano mera mazak uda rahi ho " ankit tumhe pata hai life ko hamesha flow mei chalti rahe to acha hota hai. Hamare bich jo flow mein hua, i liked it, and guilt kis baat ka, sharing body is just a part of this life "
" aap ne kabhi kisi se pyar kiya hota to shayad ye nahi kehti "
" honestly i have respect your answer and your love, but tum sach batana kya tumhe meri presence feel nahi hoti " sangeeta ne kaha aur meri taraf dekha. Mujhe na bolna tha aur ek dum se bolna tha lekin kyun mei bas muh khole uski taraf dekhta raha. Uski sarre mein se nikalti chatiyun ki taraf hi ankhein thi meri, kyun ruki us taraf nahi pata lekin jism ka ek alag hi nasha hota hai use dil ki jarurat nahi hoti vo us shut-down kar deta hai. Agle kuch pal baad jab mujhe sawal aya ki mene mauka ganwa diya tab bada pachtwa hua, nazar modhi aur shant hokar baith gaya. Galti kismat ki nahi thi balki meri thi, shayad vo to mujhe mauke de hi rahi thi.
" tumhe kahani padna pasnd hai na " usne phir wahi us raat wali baat kahi. Jawab na sun kar usne apna hath piche kiya aur bag mein se ek book nikal kar meri taraf badai. " read this book " book meri taraf badhai. Mei jada behas nahi karna chahta tha isliye mene book le li aur use dekhne laga. " tumhe samajh ayega ki jo tumne mere sath kiya uska tumhare pyar se koi rishta nahi tha aur islie guilt hone ki jarurat nahi hai, waise bhi i did enjoyed a lot " uski batei mere dil ki dhadkan badha rahi thi, ye sahi nahi tha.
" mam, ye sahi nahi hai, aap meri boss ho aur mei.. "
" ankit life is professional, bhale hi vo office mei ho ya phir bahar, mujhe tumse kya chahie? khud socho ? mei jahan hun, mujhe tumse kuch nahi chahie, isliye mera tumhari life ke bich mei ane ka koi role nahi hai. I am just enjoying, tumhe pta hai mene kyun shadi nahi ki isliye nahi ki mujhe guilt hota balk iisliye ki rishton mein bandhishe lag jati hai. Aap apne man se cha kar bhi nahi cha pate ki ye kaam karo jabki apka man karta hai. And isi ke chalte kai baar you can attract to someone its not your fault, its what happens, to khud socho tumne aisa kabhi nahi kiya ki tumhe kuch chahie aur tum apne rishte ki wajah se nahi kar paa rahe ho " sangeeta ki baat to sunna nahi chahta tha lekin uski baatein dimag par asar kar rahi thi aur kar jayegi ye nahi pata tha. Us din samajh nahi aya ki jo usne kaha vo sahi tha ya jo mei manta tha Pyar ko lekar wo sahi, ek bhram mere dil mein utpan ho gaya tha.
Din dhal to gaya hi tha lekin ab raat ho gayi thi aur itni tez baarish mein dekh pana mushkil ho gaya. Bas ghar jana chahta tha mei jitna pareshan tha sangeeta utni hi relax thi " relax nothing is wrong and everything is wrong, it depends on us " sangeeta ne meri taraf bina dekhe kaha aur mene phir apni nazre ghuma li. Sadak par pani ki matra dekhne laga kya karta dimag ko kisi taraf to modna hi tha. Traffic ki gatti bahut kharab tha, ek ghanta beet chuka tha hume ek sath aur pichle 15-20 minute se dono ke bich koi baat cheet nahi hui thi.
" ankit " sangeeta ne mere hath par apna hath rakh tab mein chaunka.
" ji " mene apna hath uski pakad se azad kiya.
" do you want to go somewhere for sometime "
" matlab ? "
" is trafic mei nikalna bahut mushkil hai to hum stay kar sakte hai "
" stay? "
" han tumhari side par ek hotel hai, thodi der stay kar sakte hain then we will go " sangeeta ne ishare se us taraf dikhaya jahan theek meri taraf ek hotel tha. Ye kya bol rahi hai, hotel nahi..
" car mei fuel bhi kam hai, ab i didn't know itne trafic mei kahin car band ho gayi to problem ho jayegi " sangeeta par bhrosa nahi tha lekin uske chehre par koi badlav nahi tha, aksar jhooth mei koi badlav aa hi jata hai. Mei kuch nahi bola " ankit ?"
" ji, mujhe koi problem nahi hai, aap ko jaisa theek lage, i will book a cab "
" ok... " usne lambe suar mein kaha aur gaddi hotel ki taraf modh di aur hotel ke samne rok di. Jabse delhi mei hotel apps aye the jagah jagah waise hi bahut se hotel khul gaye the. Sangeeta gadi se utar gayi aur mei kuch der baitha raha wahin, kya karun ye samajh nahi aa raha tha, vaise bhi iske sath to jane se raha mei isliye cab wala idea hi sahi laga. Traffic kam to hoga hi na, abhi nahi to thodi der baad, mei gadi se utra, sangeeta wahin khadi thi, usne gaddi lock ki aur andar reception par chali gayi. Mei wahin shade ke niche khada raha par abhi andar nahi gaya tha, dimag mein itne sawal chal rahe the ki shai galat ki paribhasha hi badal gayi thi. Samne tezz baarish par lagge trafic ko dekhte hue bas khada raha aur jab sangeeta ne awaz di tab hosh mein aya.
" ankit mene room book kar liya hai, tumne cab book kar li " shit mujhe to cab ka dhayan hi nahi raha. Are kya ho gaya hai dimag ko mere
" han thodi der lagegi ane mei " mene jhooth keh diya.
" koi nahi tab tak room mei aa jao phir cab aa jaye to chale jana "
" no its ok "
" are common aao " usne mera hath pakad liya aur andar le ayi.
" mam koi baat nahi "
" ankit don't be ridiculas " uski baat sun kar mei chup ho gaya " professional ke natte boss keh rahi hai tumhe " mei kuch nahi bol paya. Usne mera hath chhod diya aur mei ab uske bina force ke hi chala gaya ye soch kar koi nahi cab jatte hi book karwaunga vo ayegi aur mei jaunga. Phir koi tension nahi, lekin jaisa mene pehle kaha tha ki kash ki aisa hota jo hum sochte wahi hota.
Baarish vakai kaffi tezz thi itni tez ki gaddi ke samne dekh pana lagabhag namumkin tha aisa lag raha tha jaise delhi mei badal fat gaya ho. Sangeeta gaddi bahut slow chala rahi thi yahi agar mujhe vo do saal pehle bulai hoti to mei kabhi uske nahi baitha because we all know
" ladkiyun se drive nahi hoti aur itni baarish mein to bilkul bhi nahi yahi soch raha ho na tum " sangeeta ki baat sun kar mei chaunk pada. Vo meri soch ko itni sateek kaise pakad sakti thi is baat ka mujhe andaza tak nahi tha. " yahi soch rahe the na? "
" han.. i mean no " mei kya kehta koi aur ladki hoti to kehta lekin apne office ki itni head team ki mam ko to nahi bol sakta tha.
" i can understand, ladies are careless drivers "
" no mens are careless girls actually doesn't know how to drive " shit, shit, flow mein nikal gaya. Mei nahi kehna chahta tha aur mujhe matlab hi kya tha, kai baar jada bolna nahi chahie, jitna pata hai utna sach to kabhi nahi. Mujhe laga ki vo mujhe ab lecture degi lekin vo hans padi.
" tumhe ladkiyun se problem hai? "
" nahi mam, mujhe kya hi problem, infact meri gf bhi to ek ladki hi hai " mene mahol badalne ke liye mazak kiya aur baad mein dhayan diya ki mei ise kyun mazak kar raha hun. Meri baat sun kar ek pal gaddi mein chalte wiper ki awaz ayi aur phir sangeeta ke hasne ki.
" funny " usne itna hi kaha aur gaddi chalane mein dhayan laga diya. Akansha ka message ka mene reply diya " on the way home " lekin kab tak ye nahi pata tha kyun ki
" bahut traffic hai, mam aap bekar mei mere liye ulta jaoge, apko aur late hoga, i will manage from somewhere aap mujhe kisi point pr hi drop kar dena " mene khidki se bahar dekha, jispar oas jam hui thi baarish ke karan. Pani itna bhar gaya tha sadkon par ki two wheeler ke to tyre nahi dikh rahe the.
" hmm " sangeta ne koi na nukur nahi ki. Ab mene bol to diya tha ki mei chala jaunga par jaunga kaise? Koi nahi dekha jayega, bas tension hai mobile aur laptop ki jiska mere pas ek idea aya. Mere pas ek choti plastic ki carry bag rehti hi hai bag mein jisme phone to daal dunga par laptop uska thoda panga hai. Ek kaam karta hu vo madam se requst karke unke pass chhod dunga aur kal le lunga ye better hai. Aur rahi baat bhigne ki to maza ayega.. Achanak mujhe thand jada lagne lagi kyun ki car ka AC full speed mei chal raha tha.
" mam, mei ac band kar du, vo thand lag rahi hai " sangeeta ne ek pal meri taraf dekha, to vakai mera sharir kanp raha tha, kapde halke gile bhi the. Gaddi ruki hui thi varna agar vo itni der tak meri aur dekhti to thuk gaye hote.
" yeah sure " usne khud hi band kar diya lekin thodi der baad gaddi ke sishe par oas jamne lagi. Yahi dikat hai baarish ke time, ac chalao to thand warna oas ab drive karne mei aur dikkat. Kareeb kuch hi minute baad mene ac on kiya aur mostly hawa bahar ki taraf kar di par phir bhi mujhe thandi hawa lag rahi thi. Sangeeta badi chup thi, mei shant tha par dimag mei bar bar ek hi baat aa rahi thi ki kahin vo mujhse us raat ki baat na kar de. Jabse aya tha gaddi mein bas isliye kuch bhi bol raha tha taki vo baat na ho sake, hum aksar bachpan mein kiya karte the jab bhi koi galti hoti thi aur maa papa mein se ek ko pata hota tha aur vo dusre ko batane wali ho aisa soch kar hi baat ghumaya karte the taki vo baat hi na ho.
" mam " mei use laptop rakhne ki baat karne wala tha par usne mujhe bich mein rok diya.
" ankit tum mujhe us raat " bas vo itna hi boli ki mera dil dhadakne laga jis chiz ko mei avoid karna cha raha tha. Vo shant hi isliye thi itni der se ki mujhse phir us raat ki baat kar di.
" mam, dekhiye us raat jo bhi hua vo mei bhulna chahta hun, aap nahi samajh sakti ki mere andar us chiz ka guilt aaj bhi hai. Mei yahan job karne aya kyun ki akansha meri progress dekhna chahti thi varna " mei ruka aur vo mauka le gayi.
" varna tum nahi ana chahte the, really ? " ek choti muskan se usne meri taraf dekha. Mano mera mazak uda rahi ho " ankit tumhe pata hai life ko hamesha flow mei chalti rahe to acha hota hai. Hamare bich jo flow mein hua, i liked it, and guilt kis baat ka, sharing body is just a part of this life "
" aap ne kabhi kisi se pyar kiya hota to shayad ye nahi kehti "
" honestly i have respect your answer and your love, but tum sach batana kya tumhe meri presence feel nahi hoti " sangeeta ne kaha aur meri taraf dekha. Mujhe na bolna tha aur ek dum se bolna tha lekin kyun mei bas muh khole uski taraf dekhta raha. Uski sarre mein se nikalti chatiyun ki taraf hi ankhein thi meri, kyun ruki us taraf nahi pata lekin jism ka ek alag hi nasha hota hai use dil ki jarurat nahi hoti vo us shut-down kar deta hai. Agle kuch pal baad jab mujhe sawal aya ki mene mauka ganwa diya tab bada pachtwa hua, nazar modhi aur shant hokar baith gaya. Galti kismat ki nahi thi balki meri thi, shayad vo to mujhe mauke de hi rahi thi.
" tumhe kahani padna pasnd hai na " usne phir wahi us raat wali baat kahi. Jawab na sun kar usne apna hath piche kiya aur bag mein se ek book nikal kar meri taraf badai. " read this book " book meri taraf badhai. Mei jada behas nahi karna chahta tha isliye mene book le li aur use dekhne laga. " tumhe samajh ayega ki jo tumne mere sath kiya uska tumhare pyar se koi rishta nahi tha aur islie guilt hone ki jarurat nahi hai, waise bhi i did enjoyed a lot " uski batei mere dil ki dhadkan badha rahi thi, ye sahi nahi tha.
" mam, ye sahi nahi hai, aap meri boss ho aur mei.. "
" ankit life is professional, bhale hi vo office mei ho ya phir bahar, mujhe tumse kya chahie? khud socho ? mei jahan hun, mujhe tumse kuch nahi chahie, isliye mera tumhari life ke bich mei ane ka koi role nahi hai. I am just enjoying, tumhe pta hai mene kyun shadi nahi ki isliye nahi ki mujhe guilt hota balk iisliye ki rishton mein bandhishe lag jati hai. Aap apne man se cha kar bhi nahi cha pate ki ye kaam karo jabki apka man karta hai. And isi ke chalte kai baar you can attract to someone its not your fault, its what happens, to khud socho tumne aisa kabhi nahi kiya ki tumhe kuch chahie aur tum apne rishte ki wajah se nahi kar paa rahe ho " sangeeta ki baat to sunna nahi chahta tha lekin uski baatein dimag par asar kar rahi thi aur kar jayegi ye nahi pata tha. Us din samajh nahi aya ki jo usne kaha vo sahi tha ya jo mei manta tha Pyar ko lekar wo sahi, ek bhram mere dil mein utpan ho gaya tha.
Din dhal to gaya hi tha lekin ab raat ho gayi thi aur itni tez baarish mein dekh pana mushkil ho gaya. Bas ghar jana chahta tha mei jitna pareshan tha sangeeta utni hi relax thi " relax nothing is wrong and everything is wrong, it depends on us " sangeeta ne meri taraf bina dekhe kaha aur mene phir apni nazre ghuma li. Sadak par pani ki matra dekhne laga kya karta dimag ko kisi taraf to modna hi tha. Traffic ki gatti bahut kharab tha, ek ghanta beet chuka tha hume ek sath aur pichle 15-20 minute se dono ke bich koi baat cheet nahi hui thi.
" ankit " sangeeta ne mere hath par apna hath rakh tab mein chaunka.
" ji " mene apna hath uski pakad se azad kiya.
" do you want to go somewhere for sometime "
" matlab ? "
" is trafic mei nikalna bahut mushkil hai to hum stay kar sakte hai "
" stay? "
" han tumhari side par ek hotel hai, thodi der stay kar sakte hain then we will go " sangeeta ne ishare se us taraf dikhaya jahan theek meri taraf ek hotel tha. Ye kya bol rahi hai, hotel nahi..
" car mei fuel bhi kam hai, ab i didn't know itne trafic mei kahin car band ho gayi to problem ho jayegi " sangeeta par bhrosa nahi tha lekin uske chehre par koi badlav nahi tha, aksar jhooth mei koi badlav aa hi jata hai. Mei kuch nahi bola " ankit ?"
" ji, mujhe koi problem nahi hai, aap ko jaisa theek lage, i will book a cab "
" ok... " usne lambe suar mein kaha aur gaddi hotel ki taraf modh di aur hotel ke samne rok di. Jabse delhi mei hotel apps aye the jagah jagah waise hi bahut se hotel khul gaye the. Sangeeta gadi se utar gayi aur mei kuch der baitha raha wahin, kya karun ye samajh nahi aa raha tha, vaise bhi iske sath to jane se raha mei isliye cab wala idea hi sahi laga. Traffic kam to hoga hi na, abhi nahi to thodi der baad, mei gadi se utra, sangeeta wahin khadi thi, usne gaddi lock ki aur andar reception par chali gayi. Mei wahin shade ke niche khada raha par abhi andar nahi gaya tha, dimag mein itne sawal chal rahe the ki shai galat ki paribhasha hi badal gayi thi. Samne tezz baarish par lagge trafic ko dekhte hue bas khada raha aur jab sangeeta ne awaz di tab hosh mein aya.
" ankit mene room book kar liya hai, tumne cab book kar li " shit mujhe to cab ka dhayan hi nahi raha. Are kya ho gaya hai dimag ko mere
" han thodi der lagegi ane mei " mene jhooth keh diya.
" koi nahi tab tak room mei aa jao phir cab aa jaye to chale jana "
" no its ok "
" are common aao " usne mera hath pakad liya aur andar le ayi.
" mam koi baat nahi "
" ankit don't be ridiculas " uski baat sun kar mei chup ho gaya " professional ke natte boss keh rahi hai tumhe " mei kuch nahi bol paya. Usne mera hath chhod diya aur mei ab uske bina force ke hi chala gaya ye soch kar koi nahi cab jatte hi book karwaunga vo ayegi aur mei jaunga. Phir koi tension nahi, lekin jaisa mene pehle kaha tha ki kash ki aisa hota jo hum sochte wahi hota.